Adult-Friendly Neon Crayon…

…won’t rub off and ruin your carpet. Unless you spill the product. Then the initial spill is immediately followed by a production line of #$%s curses that would make a recently paroled Pirate squeamish.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Neon Crayon Ombre

Fabulous Von Raptor – Neon Crayon Ombre

I love me some Crayons Crayola Screamin’ Green represent! Crayons were my childhood – many smacks on the butt bum for bright waxy weird smears in the carpet… and as an adult they have ZERO nutritional value. So you can eat as many as you like and stay in shape. Although, not sure if it will block your intestinal track… it might.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Neon Crayon Ombre

Fabulous Von Raptor – Neon Crayon Ombre

No liability here if you ingest too many. Portion control. Stay in shape… really. Any shape, I’d like to be …spherical. I think it’s a … it’s just nice shape. I would be liquid too. A bright neon glossy viscus spherical orb – FEAR ME MORTALS.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Neon Crayon Ombre

Fabulous Von Raptor – Neon Crayon Ombre

I never did eat Crayons as a youngling, they were way too expensive – and the taste… didn’t really appeal to me. Butter on the other hand – YES! OMG, BUTTER. My Raptor-parents used to have to hide the butter (sounds oddly inappropriate – as if the term for why I have so many litter-mates) and then put it on the high shelves in the fridge. Jerks.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Neon Crayon Ombre

Fabulous Von Raptor – Neon Crayon Ombre

Given the chance, I’d claw a big glob of butter out of the container and walk around… doing mah thing. Eattin’ butter. Weirdly enough, butter retains the flavour of things it come’s into contact with; if the spactula for pancakes… touched it… pancake section butter… or cake batter section. #DearGodMyArteries #ButterPride #PaleoBeforeItWasCool #FitForConsumptionOfButter

Fabulous Von Raptor - Neon Crayon Ombre

Fabulous Von Raptor – Neon Crayon Ombre

Get the look – Middle and Pointer, neon pink base with a darker fuchsia ombre bleed moving from the cuticle -damn auto-correcting “Cubical”. Thumb and Pinky, neon orange base with a red. Finish with the Feature talon, as neon purple base with a black bleed. Lots of colour bleed for this one – in memory of all the carpets/upholstery/walls the World over… destroyed by crayons.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Neon Crayon Ombre

Fabulous Von Raptor – Neon Crayon Ombre

Kid friendly. Adult friendly. Pet Friendly. Carpet friendly. This look really is just everyone’s friend. A Childhood Best Friend – have fun, be happy, be whatever you want to be – shape, colour, texture, size… Do what you want, y’all/you’se. I’ve had so much fun rocking this look – I needed a glitter break. Don’t to burn myself out too early!  

Time to get in shape, B!tches. Any shape. You're an individual.

Time to get in shape, B!tches. Any shape. You’re an individual. Which Crayon colour were you?

Fabulous, x

So what you think, Darling?

What’s your experiences with bright, waxy sticks of glory called Crayons – any funny antics, were you one of the Emergency Ward statistics… was your nose itchy on the inside, that only a Crayon would feel right scratching? Lol. I won’t tell anyone… you can tell me. 

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