Le Femme Mermaid

For when the Full Monty Mermaid is just overkill… for the slightly more demure Merps (AKA Derpy Mermaids). You is Glorious, Darling.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Le Femme Mermaid

Fabulous Von Raptor – Le Femme Mermaid

Pink glittery goodness, unlike my previous mermaid lookthis one is on the scaly sideGirl. Cleanse, exfoliate, tone, moisturise … rinse. Repeat. Not. That. Hard. And your exfoliating yourself, not scratching scale of the underside of a fishing trawler. B!sh!

Fabulous Von Raptor - Le Femme Mermaid

Fabulous Von Raptor – Le Femme Mermaid

On the subject of scaliness, I’m slightly terrified as this Raptor is travelling overseas… to another hemisphere… where I will need to of maintained the rest of my person… that isn’t visible during Winter. So to confirm, my main games are Nail Game #1, Brow Game #2, Skin Regime (Dictatorship) #3 and everything else kind of falls into a “case by case” maintenance system. Oh, my legs are getting a bit Chewbacca/Gibbon/Arachnid… maybe I should do something… meh, who has the time?

Fabulous Von Raptor - Le Femme Mermaid

Fabulous Von Raptor – Le Femme Mermaid

I am, however, being very punctual in my uploads. I want a gold sticker dangit! I never did achieved my Pen License in school, was knocked back so many times – constantly relegated to B4 lead pencils. I’m a fraud! But – I did manage to get a Bachelor of Design, who needs to write good with ink? Especially when I can drawn ‘bits‘ like no-ones business… seriously. Random peoples business… every Wednesday for 4 f@#$ing years. Life models… I salute you… takes ‘bits’ to do what y’all do! 

Fabulous Von Raptor - Le Femme Mermaid

Fabulous Von Raptor – Le Femme Mermaid

Moving on – get this look. Find a Merp Mermaid Befriend/Seduce/Murder & Consumer/or Invest in shares in glitter. Seriously, glitters never going to loose its market value/appeal. Unless its sh!t glitter, and then you is a Chump. Thumb and pinky are pastel talons, top with gold starfish, pearls, rhinestones and silver/gold caviar.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Le Femme Mermaid

Fabulous Von Raptor – Le Femme Mermaid

Index and middle are bright-as-hell neon pink, topped with clear AB rhombus (you can use hexagonal/round) glitter – in a scale pattern. Ring finger is teal shimmer base, with a navy shimmer topping – blot off the product from the middle of the nail – until its like a circle pattern ombre. Done! 

Fabulous Von Raptor - Le Femme Mermaid

Fabulous Von Raptor – Le Femme Mermaid

Either one of the Mermaid look you rock, you will get a lot of attention. Please again, don’t drown people. I’m sure not all sailors are monsters, or that all humans near water are sailors… maybe they’re life models… the give away is the visible ‘bits‘… just saying. I would 100% prefer my childhood pen license, then the extensive collection of Chewbacca/Gibbon/Arachnid ‘bits’ burnt into my adult retinas after hours of life drawing!

Do you think a overt amount of extra fluffiness affects ones performance? Apparently it's not effecting my super productiveness! WHEEEE. SH!T! Oww.

Do you think a overt amount of extra fluffiness affects ones performance? Apparently it’s not effecting my super productiveness! WHEEEE. SH!T! Oww.

Fabulous, x

So what you think, Darling?

Share your experiences with pen licences and random peoples ‘bits‘ – were you as affected as I was am? How many times has your shrink tried to steer the session elsewhere? Many times?! Yeah… No idea why I pay that dude. Not. Helping.

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11 thoughts on “Le Femme Mermaid

  1. While I’m not exactly sure what “childhood pen license” is referring to (maybe it’s a colloquialism), but you definitely get a gold star. For the weeks 1 post I’ve done, I’m pretty sure you’ve had 6. So kudos to you. I’ve gotten so lazy, I’ve had 4 melt downs, back to school night, a dental appointment, a hair appointment, and a trip to ikea all in the last week in my house (the first three were in reference to my kids). But you definitely inspire me to not only work on my nails more, but focus more on my writing. My mermaid nails back on the 11th had no warning to my audience of dirty sailors, nor any arguments to support Ursula instead of Ariel. So keep at it, and your golden star will soon become a super-nova!

    • Lol – you is a busy badger too! Meltdowns can be good, I used to have massive freakouts in College and then get this awesome post-freak zen – just got to work it out of your system 🙂 I only have a fur baby to look after, if I was nicer to sailors I might have actual spawnings 😐 and more doctors appointments! Oh, pen license in Australia its like in years 1-4 you can only use a lead pencil until you get “passable” penmenship, then you get your pen license. Its like a ponzi scheme for spawnlings, more guilt than wetting the bed – less guilt than organised religion 🙂 anxious children make for nuerotic taxpayers. X

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