B!tchin’ Ursula the Sea Witch Inspired Talons

I’m going to say it – the real victim of the Little Mermaid was Ursula.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Ursula Inspired Claws

Fabulous Von Raptor – Ursula Inspired Claws

You may realise, after my last post, I’m following a Merps (AKA Derp/Silly Mermaid) theme. This look is a little less OTT and a little more wearable… not a lot. A little… A Little Mermaid (lol Pun). Now, Ursula was originally (in the novel) a “neutral enabler” in the Disney animated version – she was a full fledged b!tch.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Ursula Inspired Claws

Fabulous Von Raptor – Ursula Inspired Claws

BUT, for all us brainwashed land based Monsters masses… this Chick really couldn’t catch a break. Seriously – bested by a Sheltered, Mute, Ginger Red-head, with borderline psychopathic infatuation with ANOTHER SPECIES ENTIRELY! WHY DOES NO ONE WORRY ABOUT THAT?! Omg, that manatee sure is attractive – wonder how much he benches?! I should stalk him. I should steal his Sh!t! THAT’S INSANE! Not even PETA would be cool with that level of animal love. Blek!

Fabulous Von Raptor - Ursula Inspired Claws

Fabulous Von Raptor – Ursula Inspired Claws

Poor Ursula, seriously misunderstood. On point makeup, check. Strong brow game, Check. Good accessorizing, check. Shrewd judgement, subject to review. Contract Management skills, again… needs work. See me after class.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Ursula Inspired Claws

Fabulous Von Raptor – Ursula Inspired Claws

I can’t even. Legit. Can’t even watch that animation anymore. If she’d just put term on the agreement like: “Oh yeah and if time runs out you’re heads gonna explode.” Or “You’ll turn into a Nokia 3310 … with no charger (then no one will want Ariel).” Legit … any real repercussion for not being able to – let’s see – close the deal WITH THE BLOKE YOU’VE BEEN CONSISTENTLY STALKING FOR AGES, YOU MASSIVE CREEPER. So infuriating, kids today – have it too easy.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Ursula Inspired Claws

Fabulous Von Raptor – Ursula Inspired Claws

Although imagine if Eric and Ariel met over Tinder, wouldn’t matter what she sounded like – if they both had fingers and a passable face. Lol. Although, my Gaydar has been opertional from a young age… and Eric gave out some strong signals; hair, teeth, voice, dimples, fashion sense, … although, if he was actually gay… he’d 100% ditch Ariel for a Ursula-hag – more eccentric, stronger brow and make-up game. Fabulous.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Ursula Inspired Claws

Fabulous Von Raptor – Ursula Inspired Claws

Get this look – black out all your talons. Feature talon, layer in 2x varying sized of hexagonal and fine blue powder glitter (AB greens, purples and blues – Ursula colour pallet, whoo), topcoat with gloss. All other talons, make a purple/blue glitter paste – create a reverse French Manicure, gloss top coat the glitter. Matte out the black still visible. Be careful with the linework on this one, I drooped the lines down one side of each talon for added effect.

Fabulous Von Raptor - Ursula Inspired Claws

Fabulous Von Raptor – Ursula Inspired Claws

Really fun way to break up the saccharine sweetness of standard Mermaid looks, that and Usula is a BADA$$. Even if she was done away with the business end of a galleon. P.s Eric is the only Disney Prince to kill someone… and Ariel still wants to marry him. They deserve each other. On that subject, her dress/viel/crown combo was TERRIBLE!  Pre-Princess Post-Peasant Cinderella’s threads were nicer. Le Gag.

Egg on her face? No. Out right back fire and subsequent evisceration, yeah. Go with that one.

Egg on her face? No. Out right backfire and subsequent evisceration? Yeah, we’ll go with that one. Back fired so hard, you probably ruptured a disc and pooped yourself. Nice, Ursula. Nice.

Fabulous, x

So what you think, Darling?

Share your experiences with making poor agreements, did you totally miss judge someone? Did they stab you with the business end of a Galleon Ship? Did you learn from your mistakes? Ursula didn’t… *sigh*

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4 thoughts on “B!tchin’ Ursula the Sea Witch Inspired Talons

  1. I don’t have an experience to share, but best line ever…

    “if time runs out you’re heads gonna explode.” Or “You’ll
    turn into a Nokia 3310,… with no charge, close the deal WITH THE BLOKE YOU’VE
    BEEN CONSISTENTLY STALKING FOR AGES, YOU MASSIVE CREEPER.”

    Seriously, your posts are the best ever!

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